I am not really your typical writer or a certified bookworm to give you a beautifully written blog out here. But like everyone else, I also aim to touch others lives through my story.
For years, I’ve been feeling stuck. I didn’t want to recognize it at first and I thought lilipas din and another day would pass and I’d feel better than ever. But no, there were days when I was too depressed but I had to contain myself and not let anyone know, and it felt like I didn’t know myself anymore. Quarter Life Crisis, they say.
Later on, when I can no longer hold it in myself, I started to talk with friends. That’s when I realized I was not alone. Those days na akala ko ako lang ang nagsusuffer, I realized some of my friends felt the same. Some of them could say na they’re done with the process and sobrang nakakapagod (and I agree), and some would say they think they were just starting to feel it.
Then, one day I found myself in the middle of a crossroad. It’s like the uncertainties were too bold. Each path felt that its not going to work anyway. I just hold on to one thing, my FAITH. I know depression is not a joke and even other people chose to end their life, but it was never an option for me.
Because of this state, I tried various activities. I travel with family and friends just to free my self from the thought that I am messed up. But there were days, when I just wanted to lock myself in my room. I ignore friend invites, I refuse road trips, and I just do nothing.
But I know it wasn’t right. I had to do something and I wanted to believe that I am better than who I am today. Maybe, all we need is just a little push. But no matter how many people would push us, if we never try to take the FIRST STEP, we will never be able to reach our destination.
I have to motivate myself first. Seek inside and feel my DRIVE and my PASSION for something. And this is why I got here.